Forty Things I Learnt Before Turning 40: Lesson Twenty-Nine
I learnt that home isn’t just one place. I grew up in a small coastal town in Central Queensland called Yeppoon. Its changed a lot over the years since I’ve left, going from a quiet little beach town with a no fast food chains and just round-abouts, to having McDonald’s, more cafes than you can poke a stick at and even traffic lights. I remember the excitement I felt when I had finished university and was moving to the ‘big smoke’ of Brisbane for my first teaching job. I can still vividly picture in my mind the morning I left, stopping into my grandparents house (they lived only a street away) to say my goodbyes, the bittersweet feeling of leaving all that I’ve known but ready for a new adventure. I don’t think there’s been a day since, where I haven’t not considered Yeppoon my home.
Ever since I can remember, I’ve felt that to become ME, I had to leave home. It seemed the message was everywhere around me as a child and teenager, in the tv shows and movies I watched, the books I read. The blue print to all these stories, involved the protagonist growing up in a small town and having to leave to somewhere bigger and busier. And so I grew up that without a doubt, I would move to a city once I had finished university. Brene Brown explores the theme of having to leave to find yourself in her ‘Unlocking Us’ podcast with queer Puerto Rican author, Gabby Rivera. Rivera says, “It is something that has been kind of fed to us. Especially if you live in an urban environment or a rural environment. There’s this push. You’ve got to leave, you’ve got to go to the big city, you’ve got to do this. But you don’t need to completely let go of yourself and your upbringing.” New people will come in and out of our lives, supporting and guiding us on our journey, some will stay, while others will leave, but all contributing in some way to our self-discovery and growth. Brene adds that, “Our heroes learn that they had what it took all along, in their hearts and in their souls and it is actually fuelled by their ancestry and their origin.” I know deep down that a lot of the strength and determination I have used to get through challenges over the years, has come from those I love most, my parents and grandparents. And I’m reminded of this anytime I talk to my students about the fact that they have all THEY need to overcome their obstacles and challenges, using Dorothy from ‘The Wizard of Oz’ as an example. From the moment she arrived in Oz, she had all she needed to get back home, but she also needed to go through certain trials and tribulations to realise that’s what she wanted.
Since leaving Yeppoon, I’ve lived in two different cities in seven different apartments. No matter where I’ve lived, anytime I have gone back to Yeppoon, I’ve said ‘I’m going home.” One song that always stirs up the emotions for me, which I’d often hear on the inflight entertainment, is ‘Home’ by Michael Buble.
Another airplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky I know
But I wanna go home
Mmm, I got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far
From where you are
I wanna come home
No matter how far and wide I’ve travelled across this planet, and how old I’ve gotten, there is nothing like the feeling of going home. For me, going back to visit my parents and sleep in my childhood bedroom, brings me back to simpler times. I remember when I first moved away, it felt like such a chore to go home to the sleepy, slow-paced town, but now there’s nothing I love more. To go back to spend some quality time with loved ones I don’t get to see regularly, see the ocean each morning when I wake up and get some sand between my toes. Yeppoon will always be home, no matter where I end up.
I’ve come to realise that home doesn’t necessarily have to be one place. After many years, Brisbane really became home to me. So many ‘first’ memories happened to me here and many life-long memories continue to be made here. It’s strange how Melbourne felt like home almost immediately when I moved there. It was at this point I realised home doesn’t necessarily have to be a place it can be a person. I moved to Melbourne for love and it was the first time I’d lived with a partner. Discovering a new city with all these feelings of new beginnings with someone I adored, was extremely comforting, like home. I think we could’ve moved anywhere, and it would’ve felt like home.
The song ‘Home’ by Edward Sharpe and Magnetic Zeros is not only a track that gets my toes tapping and into a good mood, but reminds me of this sentiment.
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is wherever I’m with you
Oh, home, let me come home
Home is wherever I’m with you
We collect and store memories in our hearts, that we can cherish dearly for years and years, but also find comfort in during hard times. In those times where it’s not possible to get ‘home,’ I’ve always found that if I look inward and unlock some of those memories, I can always begin to feel better again. A song that reminds of me this is Mathew V’s ‘Home.’
And if I go, save a place for me
Promise that you’ll love me still and you’ll remember me
And on the hard days, know you’re not alone
Wherever your heart is, is where it feels like home
So whether I’m back with family in Yeppoon, amongst friends in Brisbane, Melbourne or anywhere in the world, or even on my own, stuck in my feelings, as the wise Dorothy Gale says, “there’s no place like home.”
